Fakir's Journal
by OuranHero
Summary: Fakir complains about his everyday life in the only place that can handle that much negativity - Fakir's Journal!
1. Duck Face

Dear Journal,

Today, some idiot girl named Duck came to our school. The moron broke Mytho's foot! What the hell? And don't even get me started on her dancing. She dances like a fish that was just thrown onto the dock. It's terrible! I hope she doesn't try to become friends with me.

And her hair! It just sticks up in the front! I want to throw a bucket of water on her just to keep that one damn piece of hair down!

And Rue won't stop clinging to Mytho! And Anteaterina is all over that moron! I know he's lost his heart, but he needs at least a little bit of sense!

The only place I can be free from these people is the library. Everyone there is so quiet and they don't bother me. I tried to read the book again, but I couldn't turn the page. When will I be able to build up some courage and turn the damn page?

_Writing one FanFic almost immediately after another can't be good for me..._

_Is this healthy?  
_


	2. Pants

Dear Journal,

I've had it with that moron. Why doesn't he just put on some damn pants?

Mytho just stands in the window with his junk flopping around! (_I'm sorry. - OuranHero)_ I swear, girls walk underneath the window, look up, and start drooling! Ugh, I'll buy him a pair. They're not that expensive... Then why can't he buy his own damn pants?!

There, I'm so mad I'm arguing with myself. That guy fell out of the window. He was saved by some giant duck-swan thing, I have no idea what that's about. I just with he would put on some friggin' pants!

_Sorry if this doesn't sound like Fakir yet, I'm still in the mind of Femio. I'll work on it, though. Fakir, Fakir, Fakir...  
_


	3. Annoyance

Dear Journal,

Rue's really starting to annoy me. She's all over Mytho and then she doesn't care when Anteaterina goes out with him! The moron makes no sense. And, I'm pretty sure it's just me, but isn't it weird that anteaters can suddenly stand and talk? I think so.

Duck keeps trying to be my friend, but she's so annoying I can't talk to her for more than ten seconds without wanting to gouge my eyes out! My god, why can't the girl just take a hint? And her hair! It' so orange and pointy I'm afraid that if it touched me it'll cut off one of my fingers!

Mytho became depressed all of a sudden earlier. Is he getting his heart back? I can't let that happen. If I find out who's doing this, I'll get rid of them. It's best that Mytho's heart remain lost. Right?


	4. A Wee Bit Gay

Dear Journal,

So, earlier, Mytho just collapsed on me. **While going on one of his pants strikes.** What did he think he was doing, anyway? Not wearing pants while we were talking. And deciding to collapse on me? I care for the guy, but not that much.

He's getting his heart back. I know it. I need to go to the library and look, but I can't get past that book. Dammit, why am I so weak?

And Duck. She keeps following me around. Why does she think she can be my friend? Actually, she seems scared of me. That's a good thing. I don't want her and her pointy orange hair getting in the way of things.

_Do I sound like Fakir? I feel like I don't. _


	5. Why Are You Guys So Confusing?

Alright, guys!

Hello there. For those of you who don't know me, I'm OuranHero. I've written a lot for Princess Tutu, though...

So! I would like to say this: I will be putting myself in this one, just like in the last one. I will not be Femio's assistant this time, I'll just be a normal person, probably supporting cast. (I'm never supporting cast. Sorry, but I'm lying. Of course I'll be a main character!)

Also, I'm getting mixed results from you guys. I really want to re-watch the series, but I can't until I go somewhere with better WiFi, because I live in the middle of nowhere. So, for now, this journal will be slight OOC until I can re-watch at least the first few episodes. Maybe a week or so.

And also, tell me if you have any ideas about what Fakir could complain about.

And because this chapter was a super boring rant...

Why did the hipster burn his tongue?

Because he drank his coffee before it was cool!


	6. In The Library

Dear Journal,

In the library, there is a guy with blue glasses that tells people to be quiet. He's very obnoxious and he doesn't even realize that when he yells he makes it even louder.

I've been told I was rude by Duck. I'm not that rude. I clapped once.

I know that Mytho's getting his heart back, and I think I know who's doing it. It has to be Princess Tutu, because Mytho mentioned her to me. Damn her!

Speaking of Mytho, it's noticeably colder on my side of the room than his. I need to ask him if we can switch, because I get cold at night. Mytho shouldn't mind, because he can't feel anything.


	7. We All Knew I Was Going to Do This

Dear Journal,

A new girl has come to our school. Her name is OuranHero, and she is even more annoying than Duck. She's constantly asking me to complain about things. Why would she need me to do that? When I flip her off, she laughs and walks away. I swear, she's such a damn moron.

Sometimes, I worry that the thing I write in here will come true. Then, when I think about it, I think about all of the possibilities. I'm terrified, but here it goes...

OuranHero will leave me alone. She will fall into a pit of fire and die. And Duck will leave Mytho alone.

My hand was shaking the whole time I wrote that. Last time... Well, never mind.

_Fakir... _


	8. Do You Guys Even Read This?

Dear Journal,

Today, a cat decided it would be a great idea to bother me while I was working. It chewed on my pencil as I wrote. It was so annoying! Ugh.

OuranHero didn't die, and Duck won't leave Mytho alone. Speaking of Ducks, I found a duck in my locker earlier. I felt sorry for it, so I helped it outside and fed it some bread. Later, I found out that Mytho had gotten a note from Duck asking him to go see her! I told him not to, but he said he wanted to go.

I did something really dumb. I slapped him. I doubt he felt it, but I couldn't help it. He's getting his heart back. I need to stop that from happening, at all costs.

_Sorry if I'm doing things out of order, or doing them wrong. I haven't had a chance to re-watch it yet!_

_ Something really weird happened yesterday. Right after Fakir wrote about me dying, I fell into a small hole in my backyard. Freaky._


	9. OOC, Again

Dear Journal,

I did it. I disguised myself and tried to get Mytho to shatter his heart again, despite Princess Tutu's protests. That moron refused. I hate Princess Tutu.

Rue's been clinging to Mytho again. Something changing in her, I can tell. I don't pay much attention to the moron, but even I know that.

Duck has been acting weird, too. I knew she was scared of me, but she knows about the heart shards! I just can't figure out how she... figured it out. Or even knew about the damn shards! That moron's going to end up getting in my way, isn't she? She seems like the type who would fight me over anything.

She and Tutu are alike. But that girl's terrible at dancing, so she couldn't possible be her.

_So you guys thought I'd died, eh? (I wasn't gone that long, but I'm not one to stop writing for three hundred years and then update once in an eternity. What, too much?) Sorry, but I'm very much alive. My computer was acting like a butt face, so I couldn't re-watch the series. However, I re-watched the abridged series, which is even better, since this is a comedy. So, it will stay slight OOC for entertainment purposes._


	10. Annoyance, Again

Dear Journal,

OuranHero made me watch a weird anime today. I think it was called "Stein's Gate." Man, does she get on my nerves!

She follows me around and takes note of how I react to things. It's very annoying. She even flirts with Mytho just to see how I react. Of course I get mad at her! Rue doesn't seem to care, though. She just smiles and shakes her head a little.

Duck's been staring at Mytho a lot. Her friends Pike and Lillie are very weird, too. They're Mytho's fangirls, I think. But if we're talking about fangirls, OuranHero's definitely mine.

That came out wrong.


	11. Valentines Day is Cool If You're Popular

Dear Journal,

I got so many valentines today. All of them were from fangirls, and about half of them were from Lillie, Pike, and OuranHero. It was a bit annoying, but kind of flattering. I feel like the only annoying part was Lillie, Pike, and OuranHero. Mytho got a lot, too. I let him read them, then proceeded to burn all of them in our fire.

Well, not all of them. Only half. Which half we burned, I'm sure you know. I'm starting to wonder whether I get soft around Valentine's day.

Sometimes I wonder whether or not I should be afraid to write here. Then I remember that these things have already happened, and that it's fine for me to write them down. I couldn't possible manipulate anything in the past.


	12. It's Kind of Sad

Dear Journal,

I found Tutu's necklace. I was a bit embarrassed, but I wore it. I needed Tutu to come get it, and I needed it to be on my person when she did.

Then, later, Karon smacked me. I... I just didn't want to be useless anymore. I couldn't help it; I cried. The duck from before came by and comforted me. I'm just glad no one from school came by.

Then, I gave the duck the necklace. I was thinking that it was useless anyway, since Princess Tutu hadn't come for it yet. Oh, well. I guess I failed this time.


	13. Shipping

Dear Journal,

Duck... I can't believe it... She's Princess Tutu. I don't have solid proof yet, but I know the necklace she was wearing, because I've worn it myself. I can't believe that ungraceful girl is friggin' Princess Tutu!

She's the one Mytho's been obsessed with? She can't be that great. No, I'm not jealous. Speaking of that...

OuranHero told me about "Shipping" today. She told me about shipping things like Shizaya, Sebaciel, and Spamano, to name a few. She also showed me pictures... And she told me that people ship me and Duck. How do they even know about us?! She also said people ship Rue and I. What's with that?

I use this word a lot, but OuranHero's a complete moron.

_I was just trying to keep him away from the internet... We wouldn't want another Femio incident._


	14. Poop

Dear Journal,

The worst thing happened. I found out where Mytho was going, so I followed him. Tutu tried to return a heart shard to Mytho, but a mysterious girl wearing little clothing arrived. She took him.

I tried to stop her, of course. I tried to hit her with my sword. But she sent crows at me. Why can't I overcome my fear? It's stupid.

Now I'm stuck with Duck trying to find him. I want to strangle her for her obsession with Mytho. I have to stop now. She's looking in my direction and I don't want her to know about my journal.


	15. Uselessness

Dear Journal,

I'm feeling very conflicted.

Duck's a duck. An actual duck. And, to make it worse, she's the duck I gave the necklace to! The one that saw me _crying_! Who knows what else she saw... I can still feel the heat rising in my face when I realized this. Then, she turned back into a human and she was freaking **naked.**

Then, the moron tried to kill herself. I stopped her and fought some crows, of course. Why would I let her die? The water I was standing on turned into actual water and I almost drowned. I was able to recover long enough that I broke the sword Mytho was going to use to shatter his heart.

Then, in the water, I felt wooden hands dragging me somewhere. Those hands were familiar. I had felt then in the library when that woman helped me turn the page. She pulled me out of the water, tore herself apart, and set herself on fire. I tried to stop her, I really did. She said she was fine with it though. In the end, all I could do was thank her. I really am useless.

Duck and Mytho found me later. I just hope Duck doesn't blame me for her death... Forget what I just wrote. Then, for Edel's dying wish, they danced together. I was left sitting there really awkwardly and I really wanted to leave, but I couldn't leave Mytho. I was very tired afterwards.

Now I have to keep Mytho from finding out about Duck. I also assume I have to help her find the heart shards. I hope she gets less annoying as time goes on...


	16. Season Two

Dear Journal,

Mytho is acting... odd. Im not sure if this is just paranoia, but he's meaner than normal. He's been scratching his wrist and calling to crows. That's not normal. And he's wearing pants on a daily basis! _That's not normal!_

Rue has also been acting strange. She's been clinging to Mytho more than usual. She also smirks more. I can't help but wonder if she's up to something.

Duck keeps trying to tell Mytho who she is, and I have to make up ridiculous things so she doesn't. She also keeps trying to invade my personal life. She's very close to finding out about my secret. I... don't want her to.

Well, on the bright side, it can't get worse, right?


	17. Embarrasment

Dear Journal,

After I took a bath today, I noticed OuranHero standing below the window with her mouth agape. It took me a few seconds to realize that I was only wearing boxers. That was... embarrassing. I made her promise not to tell anyone.

She's been hanging around me a lot. Every two or three days she appears and asks me to go to the library. I go there anyway, don't I? I have no idea why she does that. Sometimes she comes by two days in a row. She's worse than Duck!

Duck's been trying to find out about the writing thing. I don't want to tell her, because she'll try to make me use it for Mytho. It's not that I don't want to, it's just...

I can't do that again.

_I thought it was about time for another chapter mostly about me._


	18. Retzel

Dear Journal,

Retzel told Duck about my writing. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep the secret for much longer, but I didn't think that it would be _Retzel _that told her. I mean, I wasn't planning on telling her, but...

So, of course, she asked me to use it to help Mytho. Duck doesn't know the whole story, I don't think. Otherwise, she wouldn't have asked. Or is she just that insensitive?

Well, I snapped. I can't use that power again. Not after my parents died. I might have made her cry, I don't know. But it wouldn't be the first time, so it doesn't matter.

I want to help Mytho. But I can't.

_A little bit less than an all out humor. But it's only serious when it needs to be, so you'll forgive me, right?_


	19. Uselessness, Again

Dear Journal,

I'm not sure why I forgot to write this down, but a girl named Uzura has started living with me. She was made from the remains of Miss Edel. Duck likes her a lot. The only problem's that whenever Duck turns into a duck, she pours water on her, so she's human again. But she's naked. It's really embarrassing for both of us.

I've agreed to help Duck with Mytho. I will... try to write again. In a while. (_But I'm gonna feel useless for a bit more until I defeat the ghost knight in the next chapter. With love, from OuranHero.) _Maybe then I won't be so useless. But for right now, I'm going to... refill Uzura's tea. She wants more.

_Just about a full day without electricity taught me a valuable lesson._

_Life before electricity sucked._


	20. Ghost Knight

Dear Journal,

I've fought the ghost knight. It started with Duck wanting me to do something for those weird drama club girls, and I did. The play they were doing reminded me of a dream I had. Then, Duck left.

I found her in the middle of some spooky woods. Going there wasn't the best decision on her part. I nearly made her poop herself because she thought I was the ghost knight. Then, I found him and fought him on my horse. Duck thought I was going to lose or something, so she turned into Princess Tutu and took a heart shard from him and gave it to Mytho, who's been acting strangely evil lately.

Then, I found the moron half dead on the ground. I think I might have cried. But not over Duck. It was over how useless I am. Maybe I would help more if I wrote? I'm not sure.


	21. Writing

Dear Journal,

This morning, Uzura tried to throw water on Duck. I was ready to run out of the room, but she disappeared. I looked out of the window after telling Uzura o clean up her mess, and there she was. It was the work of Drosselmeyer.

Duck keeps bothering me about when I'll be done with the writing. It's not as easy as the thinks! First, I have to come up with the perfect plot, then find a way to develop his character so that he'll turn good again. Then, he had to defeat the Raven. I have to create an elaborate and heart-wrenching battle scene.

And I can't even write. I'm trying with little things; Duck will stop bothering me, OuranHero will die... none of them work. Maybe something smaller, like Uzura's toast will burn, or Mytho will find a ladybug. It's not like I would know if he saw a ladybug, though. I just don't know what to do.

_Sorry it took so long! I just finished my Legend of Zelda game, so I have more free time now._


	22. Useful

Dear Journal,

A young man with silvery-white hair walked through the woods. This young man's name was Mytho. He was struggling with himself not knowing how do get rid of the Raven's blood that coursed through his veins. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a small ladybug sitting on a plant. It calmed him down, and he told himself to tell his best friend, Fakir, about it later.

I have to be specific, and make sure I know who I'm writing about. I can't confuse people in my mind.

A girl with bright orange hair that stuck up in a cowlick strolled through town. Her hair shined in the sun, almost blinding anyone who dared look. She thought about checking up on Fakir, a handsome boy with dark hair who was off doing something cool. Then her mind wandered elsewhere, and she left him alone for the day.

I have to see it happening in my mind. I see exactly how it will play out, how the chain of events will go. That is key.

OuranHero, a girl who bounced when she walked, was exploring the woods. She spun around and laughed like the insane person she was. Then, she noticed something. A path that lead out of town. Curiosity got the best of her, and she followed the long, winding trail. Little did she know, the trail would never end, and she would be lost forever.

I'm mastering my skill. I'm getting better at it. I'm becoming...

Useful.

_You must write down the name of the person you wish to kill. If you misspell the name, it will not work. If you intentionally misspell the name, you will die. If the details of the death are not written within six minutes, the person will simply die of a heart attack._

_Right?_


	23. Femio!

Dear Journal,

I just met someone more annoying than OuranHero, if that's possible. He had stupid purple hair and he's more of a narcissist than Narcissus was. His name is Femio.

I was minding my own business, reading in the library with Uzura. Then, out of nowhere, a herd of bulls runs through. I found Duck, and she told me about Femio. She said he had been run over by one of the bulls. An hour or two later, he came back into consciousness and greeted me.

He sounded strangely like Tamaki from Ouran High School Host Club and Edward Elric from FullMetal Alchemist. Not that I watch those.

Once, a young prince with flowing purple hair began to dance. He fell on two girls, OuranHero and Duck. Together, they went on a long, long journey, and left the incredibly handsome and gifted Fakir alone.

_So I skipped a few people. Those episodes were basically fillers anyway. _


	24. Upset

Dear Journal,

I found Femio's diary. I'm not surprised he has one. **This is a journal**. Of course, I wrote in it. His diary, that is. He was stupid to leave it out. I would never be so thoughtless. Of course, I'm starting to suspect OuranHero has been trying to sneak into my room, god knows why. I doubt she's made it, though.

OuranHero has been becoming quite good friends with Femio. They make the stupidest team ever. If Duck joined them, I'm sure the world would end in a flaming ball of annoying. Not that I think she would join their little group of friends. She's preoccupied with Mytho. It pisses me off, seeing her swoon over him when he won't even give her a second glance. But why do I feel this way?

Mytho has been acting distant lately. The raven's blood is really getting to him. I can't do anything, but I'm getting better.

_So, what next? Should Mytho jump out of the window, or should I do the whole tree, hands almost getting cut off, Duck going to Drosselmeyer's place thing? I'm going to do all of them, I'm just not sure in what order I should do them._


	25. Missing School

Dear Journal,

Mytho's gone insane. He jumped out of the window. I tried to catch him, but he fell anyway. Thankfully, Duck was there. She caught him before he killed himself. Later, we were called to the office. I was suspended. When I opened the door, some fangirls fell in. I was slightly disappointed that Duck was not one of them. Surprisingly, neither was OuranHero.

I have so much make-up work. I hate missing school. Whenever you miss it, you end up missing the most important thing in class, and when you come back, there's a test on it. Always. And to make matters worse, I've noticed the librarian watching me. And some kid with bulky glasses, too. I may just be narcissistic, but I doubt it.


	26. Autor is Mean

Dear Journal,

The guy with the blocky glasses is Autor, and he said he would teach me to use my power. I agreed, even though duck was against it. He made me stand for long amounts of time and do nonsense exercises.

Finally, he made me find a tree. There was a small rock where it used to be. But I did more than just find it. I almost became the tree itself. I'll admit, it was very relaxing. I could feel myself becoming one with the tree. I could see everything. I could hear everything. Including Duck's voice. Duck's voice was louder than anything, so I reached for it. Only after did I realize that I had almost become a tree.

I wonder why Duck's voice was so loud? I've been noticing that she's been in my thoughts more often, too. I'm not sure what that means. Uzura's been talking about lovey-dovey things, and, well...

I'm not sure. I'll have to think on this.


	27. Writer's Block

Dear Journal,

I'm not sure how he knew, but the librarian knew that I am a descendant of Drosselmeyer. I bet that damn Autor told him. He tried to cut off my hands. Luckily, Duck arrived before they cut them off. But then she was dragged into Drosselmeyer's place.

I didn't know what to do. I knew I should probably write, I just didn't know what. It was the most severe writer's block I've ever had. Maybe if I had been a bit more clear headed, I could have focused. But for some reason, I just couldn't think clearly. Finally, I thought I heard Duck's voice, and the words started pouring out. It was weird.

I burned the story. I'm sure it said some really embarrassing things.

_The next chapter will be funny, I promise!_


	28. Everyday Things That Suck

Dear Journal,

I think that OuranHero, Pike, and Lillie formed a Fakir Fangirling club. Those girls are starting to get really creepy. I think Femio might have joined, too. I asked Duck, but she said she wasn't a part of it. I'm not entirely sure if I should be relieved or disappointed.

Maybe Femio's narcissism is rubbing off. I wouldn't have thought that before he came here, but now he's running around yelling "I'm a prince! I'm a prince!" and pissing everybody off. Even OuranHero, who is closest to him personality-wise, is getting a bit annoyed. He's also making goo-goo eyes at Lillie.

Uzura's been on and on about who's being lovey-dovey. She's just like a teenage girl or someone who writes magazine articles. She's driving me insane. I send her off with Duck whenever she goes out, but I swear I can still hear her constant lovey-dovey talk all the way across town.

Sometimes I want to leave this town.


	29. Slender

Dear Journal,

OuranHero's been asking for a while, but I finally played Slender. Worst. Mistake. Ever.

First of all, Slenderman kidnaps little girls? How creepy is that? And he only comes for you once you get the first note? Why would they be there if he didn't want you to read them? Then, you start wondering, "Isn't there supposed to be someone chasing me? I'll just wait here for a while." Then he appears and you scream.

Because he appears so suddenly. So you try to run away, but your character just won't run! It's so slow! So you walk away while saying "Nope nope nope nope nope nope" but then he vanishes and you think you're fine.

Then he appears right in front of you and his face flashes across the screen... I only got three notes. And now whenever I close my eyes I see his face flashing. And when I see dark woods, I avoid them at all costs. I'm never doing anything OuranHero says again.


	30. How Could They Do That!

Dear Journal,

I'v finished Black Butler. How could they kill Pluto like that?! OuranHero tells me that Pluto isn't even in the manga, but that doesn't make me feel better. OuranHero just loves to cause me pain, doesn't she?

Recently, I've notices a few changes in OuranHero. She seems to be avoiding something. I asked her about it, but she asked me to complain about something. What a moron. I don't say that much anymore, but she really deserves the name. She comes to school with cat hair all over her claiming that she tried to get it all off, but it doesn't look like she gives any shits about her clothes.

I swear, that girl is a mess.

_I've been avoiding it, but I'm going to write The Dying Swan chapter soon. I'm terrible at romance, so forgive me if I mess it up. _

_And I really do try to get the cat hair off. _


	31. I Can't Avoid It Anymore

Dear Journal,

I was writing like I normally do when I saw Autor frozen in midair. I knew that Drosselmeyer had come to visit me because Duck described it for me. He made me start writing a crap story about Duck. She walked into a lake. Of course I had to go save her!

Uzura had seen her go into the lake, so I followed her. It was outside the gate. Sure, I pretended I thought about leaving, but honestly the thought never occurred to me to leave. It's probably the story at work. When I jumped into the lake, which _did _look like Duck's eyes, I was surprised to find that I could breathe.

She was just laying on the bottom like the moron she is, but she sat up immediately when I called for her. She told me that the pendant wouldn't come off and that she thought that it was her fault because she didn't want to be a duck again. Of course she didn't want to be a duck again! What sort of idiot wants to be a duck?!

Well, I didn't say that out loud. instead, I told her about how reluctant I was to write again to make her feel better. I also told her that I would stay with her, even if she was a duck. I feel like I might have meant it. Honestly, I've been feeling weird when Duck is round lately. But now I have to go write the story, so I can't dwell on things like that.

_I took my sweet time avoiding this because I didn't want to mess it up. Oh well!_


	32. Only Mostly Over

Dear Journal,

I don't remember much of what just happened. I know I wrote, but it didn't feel like it was me who was writing. I think I might have cried. Don't tell anyone. I remember tearing the machine that was writing the story down and going home with Duck, but then I passed out in my bed.

I think Mytho left with Rue? Maybe? Pike and Lillie don't seem to remember Duck, and Mr. Cat is a cat now. Femio is still here, bugging everyone. OuranHero, too. She cries lot in class now. Something about a story being feels like the end. Should it be? No, I don't believe it's the end.

It's only the beginning.

**And so Fakir began to write. When he wrote, Duck was always there beside him. OuranHero took a long, long break from FanFiction, even longer than the one she took before writing this chapter. And Fakir stayed with Duck, always.**

_Want me to make this a tragedy? I could pull a Cassandra Clare and give you a peek into their futures. Or I could write one of Fakir's many stories about Duck. Or just a funny chapter. Either way, I'm writing an extra. Choose one! Make sure you do!_


	33. Finale

And so the Duck and the boy lived together. The boy remained oblivious of his feelings for the Duck for quite a while, until one day when he saw her waddling around, and realized he was in love.

("Not now, Duck. I'm busy.")

("Huh? But I thought you named her Ahiru?")

("Get out of my house, Femio.")

He was absolutely mortified. How had he fallen in love with a duck? Then, slowly, he realized that he had been in love with the duck for a long time, possibly ever since she comforted him when he was crying.

("Duck, I told you I was busy. Get your face out of the ink. Look! Your face is all black.")

("Quack.")

("Get out of my house, Femio. Stop quacking.")

("She can't answer you, so why can't I? I am a prince, after all.")

When he realized that, she was already a duck. It didn't change anything, of course. He still loved her. He began to realize it when he found that all of the stories he wrote were about her. I suppose this is another one.

("I'll feed you later, Duck. Shut up.")

Sometimes he wanted to kill her. Most of the time he wanted to kill her. But he never did. He believed that somewhere, deep in her heart, she may love him back. The only reason he was able to write something so embarrassing in her presence was because he knew that dicks couldn't read. At least, he hoped.

("Great. What do you want, OuranHero?")

("Are you writing smut?")

("Why is that the first thing you ask?")

And he ventured to find a way to turn her back into a human. But he was scared. He was scared that if she became human, she would run away with another man. So, out of his own selfishness, he chose not to turn her into a human.

("Fakir? I don't mean to interrupt your sexy daydreams, but I think Ahiru's crying.")

("What?")

("What did you say? You're very insensitive.")

("Shit! Can she actually read in that form?")

("What? Oh, look! She's hugging you!")

("Shut up.")

("Are you crying?")

("Shut up! Aren't you the one who is crying?")

("No.")

("You're both crying.")

("Shut up, Femio.")

("All three of you, actually.")

("Shut up!")

_And there we go, happily ever after. La la la. Whee. Now, for the longest break ever. See you guys in the Hetalia section. *Wink wink*_


End file.
